A Reason to Come Home
by stargazr
Summary: Sequel to "Weather the Storm". Things are spiraling out of control for Sam and Dean when someone makes a re-appearance. But things aren't always what they seem. Chapter 7 added September 2, 2008!
1. Prologue

AN: This is a sequel to the story "Weather the Storm". If you're just starting to read, you may want to go back and read that story just so things will make more sense. :) Also, please note that updates might be slow as I'm in my last semester of school so they want to make things more difficult than they should be! But I'll try to keep this regularly updated as much as possible.

* * *

The sound of the rain hitting her car was almost deafening, just a steady pitter-patter of sound against the roof of the car she drove. She was exhausted, her eyes felt like lead weights and her head felt like it weighed a ton. But still she sat outside the run down motel that looked like it'd seen better days. She was waiting. Only she wasn't sure what she was waiting on exactly. It was a boring job but until she saw one of the two (but preferably both) then she would sit and do more waiting. A glance at her watch told Lucy that it was nearing 2 a.m. The room she had figured out belonged to the Winchester's still had the light on and she knew that they didn't tend to sleep with the light on. It was just easier to sneak up on people in the dark so she knew they weren't sleeping yet. The familiar black car was parked out front, sitting and gleaming like a big black cat just waiting to pounce on their next prey. She let out a soft sigh; in spite of everything she had really missed seeing that car. Seeing it was almost like being at home.

Inside the room, the two occupants sat on either side of the window. Their eyes were trained on what was outside of the window, with the rain sliding down the glass making random patterns. It almost made it hard to see out of but the car was unmistakable. They each held a gun in one hand, bottles of holy water in their pockets. Each was tired, exhausted really but weren't going to bed any time soon. Not while the other car was outside with its occupant still inside. Sam glanced at his older brother for a long, quiet moment before he said anything. "She knows we don't sleep with the light on," He grumbled finally.

Dean nodded his head, his eyes still trained on the car outside. "I know. Get up and turn it off, would you?"

He grumbled something else that Dean couldn't make out but a moment later Sam was standing from his post on one side of the window and made his way over to the nightstand where the only lamp in the room stood. A second later the room was engulfed in a black, murky darkness. He stood still for a moment until his eyes adjusted before he moved back to where he had been, glancing out the window. "Demons lie, Dean." He said it quietly out into the dark.

He could see Dean's jaw clench and unclench a couple of times. Hell, Sam could almost see the wheel's turning in his older brother's mind as he tried to figure out what to do next. Usually it was simple. Find whatever was possessed, throw a bit of holy water on them, say some Latin and watch the black smoke spill from the human body. But this was different. It was different because it was Lucy. Dean finally nodded, not looking away from the window. "I know," He finally said, his voice low and gravelly. He knew that demons often lied. It was all about the effect for them. And they sure knew where to hit him the lowest.

Sam sat up as movement happened outside. The car's ignition started and a moment later, it was pulling out of the parking lot and out onto the street. Another moment passed and the taillights of the car were completely gone. He couldn't help but release the breath he'd been holding. So far, the demon that had told them that Lucy had gone dark side was wrong. Hopefully it'd continue on that way. Dean closed his eyes once the car disappeared into the rain and dark. He was ready to collapse on the lumpy bed and sleep for three days straight. He set the gun down next to his feet, stretching his arms as he stood from the position he'd been in for quite some time. Bones popped and muscles sighed as they were pulled. "We still don't know that she's not," Dean said matter-of-factly as he grabbed the gun and moved to put it on the nightstand next to the bed he'd be sleeping in for a couple of hours.

"I know." Sam crawled on top of the covers of the other bed, flopping down onto his stomach. "I don't think she is though. She would've made a move."

"You don't know _that_." He was tired of talking about it and he was definitely tired of thinking about it. Lucy just wasn't evil, she just wasn't.

At least he really hoped she wasn't.

"Yeah, yeah I know." Sam chewed on his lip as he rolled onto his back, listening as Dean moved around the room doing his normal check of everything. _Just in case._ In the weeks and months since the gate to hell had been opened, he'd learned just what one of them were to become if things had gone the other way. One of them was supposed to have become a leader of some sort of demon army. He didn't even want to think about what kinds of things would've happened but all Sam knew was that he wasn't some sort of anti-Christ. Sure, he was a little quicker to pull the trigger but...that was just preparing him for being without his brother. Soon. "Do you...do you think she is?" He asked into the darkness once Dean had lain down on the other bed.

Dean was quiet for so long that Sam was sure that he'd fallen asleep. But then Dean spoke, "Yeah. I do."

"Why?"

"Why what Sam? You've been hearing the same kind of rumors I have. You've heard what she's been out there doing for the past month, working to get more devils' gates open for some ungodly reason. Now if she hasn't gone all dark side and shit, then I don't know what is." Dean let out a loud sigh as he sat up, turning to punch the pillow underneath him. "I...wish it wasn't her."

"Because you know what we have to do."

"Right." He grew quiet again as he stared up at the ceiling. The rain was still pounding outside; the wind was even picking up some. But Sam still heard it when Dean said quietly into the dark, "I don't want to have to kill her."


	2. Chapter 1

Three Months Earlier

It was hard to sleep at night. It was usually when the darkness overtook more than just the sky; it was when the darkness started to overtake her as well. It started simply as a few nightmares here and there. They began right after she left Dean and Sam behind in Bobby's house and she at first chalked it up to being on her own for the first time in a long while. She was alone and suddenly had all of the time in the world to remember things and to deal with things that had happened. And for awhile they stopped.

But then she settled for more than a few days in a town just outside of Sioux City, Iowa. She stayed in a motel that looked like it'd seen better days but it was at least clean and quiet. Lucy even took a job as a waitress to make some quick cash. Lucy could remember lying down to go to sleep after a long shift at the restaurant, drifting off fairly quickly. That night she was pulled under the covers of darkness, flames and things biting at her heels. She couldn't wake up, couldn't scream for help and couldn't pull herself from the darkness. It felt like she was stuck in a pool of mud, unable to swim to the surface without being pulled further in. It was too dark to see where she was, although she could hear things, could hear _people_. They were moaning, screaming in pain and she could do nothing to help or to get away from them. The only thing Lucy ended up seeing before waking up mid-scream was a pair of bright yellow eyes.

When she woke up, she found she'd clawed marks onto both of her arms but had no recollection of even doing it. Her throat was raw, tears streamed down her face and Lucy was pretty certain her heart was going to pound its way right out of her chest. A moment later saw her darting for the bathroom, reaching the toilet just in time to empty her stomach of the meager dinner she'd eaten earlier. She stayed there the rest of the night, tired eyes focused on the linoleum floor, too scared to go back to sleep. 

When morning came and she found herself exhausted but still, she thought of calling Dean. It had been a few weeks by that point since she had left. He'd probably be mad but at least he could help her. But something told Lucy not to call him. So she didn't call either Winchester and she sure as hell didn't call Bobby, who would give up her location quicker than anything. Well, they just weren't going to be able to find Lucy _that _easily. That day her cell phone took an unfortunate fall under the wheel of the beat up and rundown car she'd bought not long after she left. Two days after that, the car took an unfortunate dip into a lake. 

When she resurfaced, Lucy would not remember what she'd done or how she'd ended up across the country on the East coast. There were more marks on her body, scars and claw marks most likely made with her own hands. She holed up in another motel, locking herself in the bathroom just in case anything else was to happen. This time she would remember the voices and the sounds they made. Telling her to do things, telling her to open her mind up. After all, she was one of_them_. She could lead _them_ in the oncoming war. It didn't matter that they'd gotten the Devil's gate closed. It'd been open long enough for some of the most evil _things _to get out. Sam wasn't the leader, _she _was. And she couldn't stop her destiny. It was tempting for Lucy to just give up. It was tempting to just open her mind to it all and let whatever it was take over her. It was hard to keep fighting it, to keep part of her alive and coherent. It was why she didn't sleep much. She only slept when pure exhaustion overtook her body and mind, causing her to sleep in twenty minute increments at the most. She knew she couldn't give in. She knew what would happen if she did.

Hell would take over.

Lucy called Bobby once. It was nearing 3 a.m. but she was being driven up a wall, fresh claw marks marring her arms and legs. She was near the point of just giving herself over to the so-called dark side. But something inside of her told her to call someone. Dean was first on the list but his number was out of service, as was Sam's. She was sobbing loudly when she called Bobby, his tired voice coming over the line. She couldn't get any words out besides, "I can't do it anymore." He begged her to tell him where she was, that he could help. But something happened and the line went dead.

She woke up in the morning back in the bathroom, but wasn't sure how she'd gotten there.

* * *

Dean never stopped looking for Lucy after she left him in the middle of the night. While he'd been pretty angry for the first week or so, he'd stopped being mad fairly quickly. He could understand why she'd left; after all it wasn't like he could exactly settle down anytime soon. She didn't deserve the type of life they'd been brought into. If anyone was going to have a chance at normal sort of life it was going to be Lucy. But even though he stopped being mad and hurt, it didn't stop him from wanting to know where she was. Just in case, he would tell himself. 

They were surprised to get a frantic phone call from Bobby at too-fucking-early in the morning after they'd been on the road for some thirteen hours. He'd asked if they'd heard from Lucy but no, their numbers had long been changed. When Sam and Dean learned of the strange call and subsequent hang-up, they went into research mode looking for any sign of activity...well, anywhere. Bobby had managed to track Lucy to Delaware but they found nothing suspicious. 

It was another few weeks before Sam and Dean heard Lucy's name again. This time it was while they were trying to get rid of a pretty nasty demon in the northern half of Florida. Sam was reading through the Latin like it was an old hat while Dean stood next to him with the re-built Colt firmly in his hand. The demon was thrashing its human host around like a rag doll in an attempt to break the devil's trap. Suddenly it stopped, the eyes of the person flashing black before it started to laugh. Dean raised an eyebrow, glancing at his brother as the demon continued to laugh. Then it started telling a wild tale of death, destruction and what could've been if Sam had turned dark side. "But we don't need _you_ anymore Sam. You're just another casualty of the war," The woman said from where they'd tied her to a chair. They hoped to save the actual woman but the demon was doing anything it could to stop that.

"Yeah so who do you have to lead your army now?" Sam asked as he entered the circle, leaning in menacingly towards the demon.

She grinned widely, teeth flashing bright in the darkness of the room. "Wasn't there someone else that survived Sam? Oh that's right!"

"Lucy?" Dean blurted out before thinking.

Both men couldn't help but look a little bit shocked. After everything that had happened and was happening up until that point, neither had thought of Lucy as being the one to lead the demon army into whatever war they were aiming for. It'd been Sam at first but for some reason, they hadn't thought about Lucy.

"We're just waiting for her to break. She's pretty close, I mean at least according to the last memo I got." The demon laughed inside the woman's body, thrashing around in the chair again before it turned its eyes on Dean, catching the look that was on his face for just a fleeting moment. "Aw you still care for her, don't you Dean-o?"

They were both quiet as Sam stepped out of the circle and began to read again. And even Dean could admit that he got a sick sort of satisfaction as he watched the demon shriek and scream, writhing the body it was currently occupying around in pain. He even grinned some when the black smoke poured out of the human's mouth and to the top of the trap. Demons lied. And he was sure that Lucy wasn't turning evil.

At least, he was pretty sure.


	3. Chapter 2

Sam was pretty tired, although he wasn't going to admit that to himself or to Dean. He was sitting on the edge of another uncomfortable motel bed, flipping aimlessly through his father's journal. Something that demon had said stuck out in his mind. After they'd opened the Devil's Gate his visions had stopped, it seemed Lucy's had as well. Honestly Sam had figured the visions were linked to the yellow-eyed demon and when they killed him it all stopped. It made sense, especially since he hadn't had anything like a vision since that happened. Of course demons lied, they spat lies like it was the easiest thing in the world but for some reason Sam was thinking that the demon they'd exorcised earlier was telling a bit of the truth. 

He flipped through a couple more pages of the journal before he sighed, dropping it onto the night table in between the beds. He lay back, stretching his legs out in front of him as he heard Dean come out of the bathroom, rubbing a towel over his head after taking a shower. "Find anything interesting?" He asked as he dropped down onto the empty bed, reaching for his bag on the floor.

"No. But I just have a bad feeling about all this Dean." Sam rubbed a hand over his face, knowing he needed to get up to take his own shower but he was just too lazy at the moment.

"So what, you think that Lucy's going to go all evil and shit?" Dean pulled his bag towards him and started digging through it for something Sam couldn't see. 

He let out a sigh, shrugging a shoulder after a moment even though Dean wasn't even looking his way. "I don't know. I just...I think that there's something to what the demon was saying."

"You haven't had any visions, right?" Dean asked as he tossed his bag back to the floor before he turned, reaching for the remote for the small TV.

"What? No." He shook his head as he sat up, glancing at the TV as it was turned on. "Not since the Devil's Gate was opened. But I don't know, I just think there's something to what the demon said. And I think that we should try to find Lucy. If anything, we can just warn her that there might be something to it all."

He nodded after a moment, glancing over at his younger brother. "I agree. We'll start in the morning, okay?"

"Alright." Sam finally got up from the bed, digging through his own bag and pulling out a couple of articles of clothing before disappearing into the bathroom. He rubbed the back of his neck as he turned the water on, watching it pour into the bottom of the bathtub that looked as if it'd seen better days. It just wasn't fair, any of it. He had to wonder if there would ever be an end to any of this. It seemed like just when they got one thing finished for good that three other things popped up. Not only did they have to worry about the things that had escaped from the Devil's Gate _and_ worry about getting Dean out of his deal but now they had to worry about Lucy potentially going all dark side to lead some sort of demon army. Sam just wondered if things would ever really and truly be normal. 

As soon as the door to the bathroom closed, Dean was up and off the bed to find the laptop. It was in Sam's bag, since he was the one that tended to be on it more often. He pulled it out and set it up, waiting a few moments for it to load before he sat down in front of it. He didn't really want to wait until the morning to start looking for Lucy, especially if what the demon had told them was true. He went through the contact list on his phone as the laptop finished its initial boot-up, looking for Bobby's number. He knew that the other man had talked to her once so he was more likely to have the last number she'd had. It was a small start but a start nonetheless.

* * *

Lawrence, Kansas wasn't a place Lucy thought she would find herself in again. But somehow she ended up there the next week, looking like death warmed over and not sure what was going on or how she'd gotten there. She was staying in another run down motel that looked as if it might have been pretty decent back in the 1950's but the old lady working the front desk was nice enough to her once Lucy actually ventured out one damp and dark afternoon. She managed to finally shower once she figured out where she was and then Lucy was on a mission. She only knew one person in Lawrence and hoped upon hope the woman hadn't decided to move. 

The street was the same, and luckily the house was too because she couldn't remember the exact address. But she shoved some money towards the cab driver and climbed out of the car, standing in the driveway of Missouri Moseley for a long moment before she made her way to the door. It was hard to ask for help when she wasn't sure exactly what was going on but the nightmares were happening more and more. She was also losing herself for longer periods of time, waking up and not sure of where she was or what had happened. The marks on her body were getting worse and multiplying by the day it seemed. She just didn't know where to turn any longer. But something must've brought her to Lawrence for some reason; Lucy just wished she could figure out what it was.

She raised her hand to knock on the door, surprised when it opened before she could actually do the knocking. Missouri didn't look all that surprised to see her but she did look surprised at her appearance. With a deep frown, she pulled Lucy inside the house and locked the door. "I've been waitin' on you to show up here, you know." She said, tugging on Lucy's hand as she led her through the house, "I was beginning to worry something happened to you and I just didn't know it yet."

"Do you know what's happening to me?" Lucy blurted out once they stopped in the parlor, Missouri pushing her down into a seat on the couch.

"Not...exactly sweetheart, although I wish I did." She sat down next to her, giving her a sad smile. "I've been able to tell that something just horrible's going on though. You're hurting..."

She shook her head, "Not just that but I can't figure out what's going on. I don't even know how I got here."

"There's something big going on, bigger than what happened in South Dakota." Missouri shivered, closing her eyes for a moment. "I don't know what exactly's got a hold of you Lucy but it's bad, really bad."

Lucy frowned, sitting back against the couch. Her body hurt, her mind hurt and part of her was really tempted to just give in to the darkness the next time it came. She looked over, catching the other woman glaring at her, "Now don't you go thinking you can just give up all easy like that."

She cracked a small smile, looking down at her hands as she wrung them together. "I forgot you can read my thoughts," She murmured.

"Honey, have you talked to Dean or Sam since this started?"

She shook her head, one of her hands reaching up to wipe at her eyes as they started to water. She was just _so_ tired. "No. I...I'm scared to."

"Why on earth for?" She asked gently before saying, "You know Dean cares about you..."

"It's not that. I know he does." Lucy chewed on her lip for a moment before she whispered, "I'm afraid that he's going to have to kill me."

Missouri nodded her head, reaching over and putting her hands on top of Lucy's. "I know you're afraid, okay? And I know you're scared and that something big is happening. I wish I could tell you what it was but whatever it is is really bad. This is bigger than what you can handle. I think you need to go to Sam and Dean. They can help you."

"How do you know?" She asked.

"Just a feeling," Missouri said with a smile. "Do you want to stay here tonight? You look like you could use the rest, although I know you haven't been sleeping at all."

Lucy shrugged a shoulder, closing her eyes tightly as the room felt like it was spinning. She shook her head as she stood quickly, startling the older woman. "No...no, I'd better go." 

Missouri frowned and followed her to the door, nearly having to run to keep up with Lucy as she hurried to the front door. She needed air, she felt like there was an elephant sitting on her chest and she was struggling to breath. "Lucy, you should stay here. You'll be safer here!"

Lucy shook her head quickly, turning and nearly pushing the older woman off of her in her rush to get out the door. Missouri gasped when she saw the look on Lucy's face and by the time she got her wits about her, Lucy was long gone. She stood in the doorway of her house for a good, long time in case the girl came back but eventually she closed the door. Another shiver ran up her spine and she knew that something was definitely wrong. Missouri had seen a lot in all her years and she was used to everything that happened around her but she hadn't expected to see Lucy in the state she'd been in. And she definitely hadn't expected to see Lucy's eyes flash yellow before she ran away. 

Locking the door, Missouri left to find her phone. If Lucy wasn't going to go to Dean then she was going to make sure that boy went to her.

* * *

Sam and Dean were about thirty miles outside of Chicago, Illinois three days later on their way to follow up a lead on where Lucy had last been. Dean's phone began to ring just as a particularly good song came on but he turned the volume down and grabbed the phone, glancing at the number. He was surprised to see who it was, knowing he'd probably get an earful about how they hadn't been back to visit in awhile. "Missouri?"

"I'm not mad about you not visiting Dean," Missouri said by way of greeting.

"You're...not?"

"No. This is more important than that, so listen up."

Dean frowned some, glancing to the passenger seat where Sam was watching him quizzically. "So what's going on?" He asked into the phone.

"I know you're looking for Lucy and I thought I should tell you that she showed up here this afternoon."

"In Lawrence?" Damnit, they'd driven east for no reason then. "Was she okay?"

Missouri sighed, "No. That's what worries me. Girl looked like she hadn't slept in weeks, hadn't eaten in weeks either. She was scared but I can't tell what it was exactly. Whatever it is that's taking over her is something nasty Dean. I tried to get her to stay here but she freaked out and ran from the house before I could stop her. I...I also saw something that scared me Dean."

His frown grew even deeper as he pulled the car off at the first exit he came across, ignoring Sam's sounds of protest. "What else happened?"

"Her eyes changed when I tried to stop her. They looked almost yellow. Do you know what that could mean?"

"Not...exactly. Are you sure though? I mean..."

"I know what I saw, boy." Missouri let out another sigh, softer this time. "I wish I could've stopped her, gotten her to stay here so she would be safe but I don't have a good feeling about this at all. I know you still care about her Dean, and don't try to tell me you don't, so I thought you should know."

"Thanks for trying; I'm glad she showed up there. We were beginning to wonder if she'd ever pop up again. Bobby talked to her but it was only for a few seconds." Dean bit his lip for a moment, "thanks for calling too."

"If I hear from her again, I'll be sure to give you a call. And Dean?"

"Yeah Missouri?"

"Don't kill her."

He clenched his jaw for a moment before he nodded, even though Missouri couldn't see him. "I'm _not _going to kill her."

Once he was off the phone, Sam started in on the questions. Dean just shook his head as he pulled the car off to the side of the road. "What're you doing?" Sam asked as Dean threw the door to the car open and pushed himself out quickly.

He never got an answer but only watched as Dean stalked around on the side of the road they'd stopped on. He rubbed at his face, pulled at his hair but he never completely lost it, although Sam thought he looked like he wanted to a couple of times. Finally, Dean climbed back into the car and stared straight ahead. "She showed up at Missouri's, sounded like she was a complete wreck and freaked out when Missouri tried to get her to stay. Missouri said when she left that Lucy's eyes turned yellow and then she took off before she could stop her." Dean ran a hand through his hair before leaning his head back, "I don't know why this is happening to her but I'm not sure we can stop it. She said it was something big..."

"We should try though, right?" Sam asked.

"Yeah we should." He laughed, shortly and bitterly. "But it sounds like it's kinda like my stupid deal. There's just no getting out of it in the end..."

Sam looked out the window, watching as lights from semi-trucks shown in the distance. "We have to try Dean."

He knew they had to try to save her. It was important to Dean that she would end up having a normal, happy life that she deserved. Even if he didn't get to be with her, that's all he wanted. Now it felt like it was just going to be so far out of their hands that they couldn't stop it. Somehow the world was going to have to stop spinning out of control he decided. With a nod that was mostly to himself, he started the engine of the car and turned it around. "We need to go to Bobby."

"What about...everything else?"

"We'll work on both. But he needs to know what's going on; maybe he's got some sort of idea of what's happening to her." And maybe they could stop Lucy before she completely lost herself.


	4. Chapter 3

Two Months Earlier

She knew she was being followed, had been for a few days now. She didn't see the person but she could definitely feel someone watching her. But as far as Lucy could tell it wasn't Dean, Sam or Bobby. She could tell it wasn't anyone she already knew, which made things that much worse. She'd tried to stay low, especially since Lucy was having more time where she didn't really know what happened. Part of her was afraid that another hunter was stalking her, that maybe she'd done something so bad that someone was after her to kill her. Living wasn't really what she was doing anymore. Lucy was just trying to survive each day although as each day passed she felt a little bit of herself disappearing. It was hard to fight, especially at night when she could feel the flames licking at her ankles but as long as she still felt a bit of herself _inside _of her then she was going to keep fighting.

She'd been in Wisconsin for a few weeks, able to scrounge up enough money to stay in a motel that actually wasn't too bad in the grand scheme of things. The money came from odd jobs she managed to pick up when she felt somewhat normal but even Lucy knew it wouldn't last and she couldn't stay there forever anyway. After that money ran out she wasn't sure what she was going to do. The still-rational part of her brain told her to go to Bobby because he would at least be able to keep an eye on her. But the other part of her brain, the one that wasn't so rational anymore, told her to just stay on her own. Plus since she was being followed Lucy wasn't so sure she wanted to lead anyone right to Bobby; that could be a very bad thing.

She was coming back to her motel room one evening when she finally found out who was following her. She was walking quickly after grabbing a bite to eat in a diner not too far from the motel. Her stomach had been growling incessantly most of the afternoon but she really just hadn't felt like going out before that. Reaching the door, Lucy nearly jumped out of her skin with a shriek as a hand covered hers. She pulled back like she'd been burned, surprised to find a blonde girl standing next to her not the male hunter she'd been expecting. The blonde gave her a smirk as she took a step backwards, "Hi Lucy. I think we need to talk."

Lucy frowned, wondering momentarily how the blonde that wasn't that much shorter than her but she put some more distance between them. She hated that she could feel something creeping up her spine, poking and prodding a bit like needles. It was usually when everything began and she lost time again. "Who are you?" She managed to get out even though she felt like she was going to pass out at any moment.

"I'm here to help you." The other woman took the hotel key from Lucy and unlocked it swiftly before nearly pushing her inside. "You don't want to give into this Lucy."

She stumbled forward into the room, looking around to make sure nothing was amiss. How the hell did this woman know who she was? It wasn't often that Lucy even used her real name, especially when she was on her own. "I'm _not_. Now who are you and what the hell do you want?"

The blonde grinned as she walked around the room, glancing at the meager belongings Lucy had. "My name's Ruby. I know your friends-"

"What friends?" Lucy interrupted her quickly.

"Sam and Dean. _Duh_." She let out an almost-irritated sigh before dropping down onto the edge of the hotel bed. "I'm here to help you, like I said."

Lucy put another couple of steps in between her and Ruby, crossing her arms in front of her. "What do you want in return?"

"I want you to _not _go all dark side on us all because that could be very, very bad." She smiled up at her for a moment before it dropped off her face, "look I know it's hard. And I know what's got you in its hooks. We're going to find out a way to get it away from you and then things can go back to normal. Well, semi-normal I guess. Plus it means Dean can quit being all mopey about not being able to find you. I need him."

"Need him for what?"

"Need him to help me get Sam ready for when he's not around anymore. You and Sam are going to be ones that stop the whole demon army thing," Ruby said with a wave of her hand.

Lucy shook her head as she took a few steps forward. The room was beginning to spin, the edges of her sight blurred with black. The feeling of needles in her back was getting worse and she knew she was about to lose more time again. She closed her eyes tightly and kept them like that for a good, long moment before opening them again. She was hoping to find that Ruby had been a figment of her imagination but it wasn't. The blonde was still sitting on her bed, watching her curiously before she asked, "Are you okay?"

Lucy dropped down onto the bed heavily, covering her face with her hands and pressing her palms against her eyes. "No. I have a headache."

"Is that how it starts?"

Really, she just wanted Ruby to shut up. There was too much information flying at her for her to be able to comprehend what she was even saying, add in the fact that Lucy was having a hard time focusing on one thought inside her own head and she was beginning to get really irritated. "Look," Lucy said as she straightened up to look at Ruby. "I appreciate you wanting to help but I don't think you can. I don't even know you! No one can help me and it's better that I just stay away from Sam and Dean."

"That's not you talking. You know you should go to them for help." Ruby stood up and moved until she was standing right in front of Lucy. "I can help you."

"How! It's digging inside of me and pretty soon I'm not going to be able to fight it, okay!?" She finally exclaimed.

"No. It's not okay." Ruby blinked and when she opened her eyes, they were coal black.

It was enough to startle Lucy and she gasped, scrambling back away from her. "You're a demon?"

"Unfortunately," She replied with a smile before her eyes changed back to a normal green color. "And I can help you. If you let me."

Lucy's head swam suddenly and she stumbled a bit as she crawled off the bed to stand. Ruby was watching her and Lucy could see that her mouth was moving but for some reason she couldn't hear her. It was hard to concentrate, especially as everything started to go dark all at once. She fell to her knees and could vaguely hear Ruby's voice from somewhere that sounded far away when in actuality she was probably right beside her. But all Lucy could hear and all she could concentrate on was the deeper voice that was whispering for her to let go.

* * *

He rubbed a hand over his face before he sat up straighter in a chair, feeling the muscles in his back and shoulders stretch and pull. It seemed like they'd looked for her for so long and it took Ruby less than a day to find her. That just wasn't right, not in Dean's mind. But they'd found _her _and that's what mattered. He heard footsteps and glanced over his shoulder even though he knew who it was. Sam had heavy feet, always had, so it wasn't a surprise to see him trying to be quiet as he walked up behind Dean. He gave a glance towards the other chair in the room before looking down at Dean. "She still out?"

Dean nodded as he turned his head away from Sam. "Yeah. Where's Ruby?"

"Outside calling Bobby." Sam sighed softly and started towards the other chair but something made him stop a few feet from it.

"She say what's wrong with Lucy?"

"Said she knew what it was but didn't tell me." Sam turned then and made his way back towards his brother, "has she moved or anything?"

"No. I'm just waiting for her to wake up and freak out." He had a feeling that it wasn't necessarily Lucy inside her own body, at least not at the moment. Perfectly healthy, normal people didn't tend to black out for no reason. When Ruby had called saying she'd found Lucy, he hadn't believed her. He hadn't wanted to believe her. But Sam and Dean had still packed up and driven to Wisconsin, finding Ruby and an unconscious Lucy in a motel room. From there they'd moved quickly, setting up a devil's trap and tying Lucy up, just in case. But even Dean could admit that he had a hard time doing all of that. It was hard to see her looking too-thin and beaten up. The dark circles under her eyes told him she hadn't slept right in months probably and he _hated_ that. Hated knowing she'd been fighting for so long but wasn't able to get rid of whatever it was that was trying to ravage her. For the first time in awhile Dean wasn't worrying about the deal he'd made; now he was just worried that something was going to turn Lucy into something evil they couldn't stop.

"She's going to wake up and whatever's inside of her isn't going to be too happy." Sam let out a sigh, glancing over at Lucy. "Ruby's going to get in touch with Bobby and get him here. He should be able to help."

Dean rubbed a hand over his face again, feeling more tired than he had in weeks. "I hope so." He just hoped that they could help her in time.


	5. Chapter 4

AN: sorry for the lack of updating lately! Between finishing school, working and writer's block things have been slow. Hopefully I can get back into the swing of things though now that things have slowed down a ton.

* * *

It was dark when she opened her eyes, blinking a couple of times to make sure she was actually awake. It took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust, although she still couldn't make out very much. It was frustrating to not be able to really see but it was even worse when she realized her arms were tied behind her. Complete terror took over and she started to thrash around, pulling on the restraints until she could feel the rope used digging into her skin. All Lucy knew was that she needed to get away and get away right _then_ and there. A sound startled into sudden silence and she shrank back in the chair she was in, closing her eyes tightly as if willing whatever (or whoever) it was to go away. It didn't work though and she let out a startled yelp when a hand touched her shoulder. Lucy pulled back as if her skin had burned, her eyes shooting open to find Sam's face right in front of hers. "Lucy? You okay?"

She jerked out a nod, her eyes darting away from his to look down at her arms. "Am I...what's going on? Why am I tied up?"

His hand touched her shoulder again although this time she didn't pull away like she'd been burned. Straightening up, Sam let his hand fall away from her, his mouth set in a thin line. "We'll explain everything, alright? Just relax. I'm going to go get Dean"

She perked up at that, although she wasn't sure why. If they'd found her then they were probably going to kill her. They had to know by now. She bit her lip, watching as Sam's tall form moved towards the door. "Sam?"

He paused at the sound of his name, not missing how hoarse and small she sounded. Glancing over his shoulder he answered her with a simple, "Yeah?"

"Are you...going to kill me?"

It surprised him to hear her ask it, although he knew it shouldn't have. But he noticed that she didn't sound all that scared at the prospect of being killed. In fact it almost sounded like that's what she wanted, like it'd be the answer to everything. Sam clenched his jaw as he looked away from her. "No. We're not going to kill you," He answered simply.

The _"I hope"_ was unspoken on his part and they both knew it. But Lucy didn't say anything else and just watched as Sam disappeared out of the room. She started to chew on her bottom lip, gnawing at it until it was almost raw by the time Sam and Dean came back into the room. It was strange to see him after all this time, not that he'd changed that much. He looked a little harder around the edges though; worry lines evident around his eyes as he glanced at her. Both of them looked tired though; as if they needed to go to sleep for a couple of months. He didn't look at her for too long. Instead he turned towards his brother and the two shared some quiet conversation she couldn't hear. Not that Lucy wanted to hear what they were talking about though.

Dean held a gun in his right hand, his finger on the safety as he moved around her and the chair she was in. "Lucy?" He asked, sounding almost broken as he stopped in front of her.

She looked up at him then, her head swimming just a bit. It was enough for her to blink a couple of times to clear her mind before she nodded. "Dean?"

He smiled just a bit before he glanced back at Sam. "It's her."

"What'd you mean? It's always been me?"

He shook his head before he sat down on the bed across from her. "No. I don't think it has."

She frowned, looking between both of the guys. "What do you mean?"

Dean sighed, rubbing a hand over his face before he looked down at the gun in his other hand. "You know something's been going on," He said as he looked over at her. "The blacking out, the waking up and not knowing where you've been or what you've done."

She swallowed hard, the prickly feeling at the base of her spine starting again. Something inside of her was awakening again and she wasn't sure she could stop it even if she really tried. She jerked out a nod and looked away from him quickly. "Do you know what it is?" Lucy asked quietly.

"We think you're possessed, just haven't figured out how it happened," Sam said from the other side of the room.

She felt the prickly feeling crawl up her back and she couldn't help but shudder as it worked its way up. Closing her eyes tightly, Lucy was trying to will the feeling away, at least for a few minutes so she could think clearly for once. It didn't seem to be working though as the feeling rose higher and she began to feel like she was going to lose herself again. Sam and Dean noticed but didn't make a move or sound as Lucy began to squirm in the chair. "Please," She gritted out after a long moment. "Please just end it right now."

Sam and Dean shared a look but didn't move other than that. "End what Lucy?" Dean asked finally.

She thrashed around in the chair suddenly, causing it to tip back on two legs before it settled on all four. Both men were standing just outside of the devil's trap by that point, watching as she growled and pulled on her restraints. She seemed to be fighting whatever it was inside of her but it was a losing battle. A sob left her suddenly though as everything stopped, her head hanging down with her chin against her chest. "Please just do it, okay?" She said after a long, quiet moment. "I can't keep fighting it, it hurts too badly. Just shoot me please? I'm begging you Dean, please?"

Dean froze where he was, swallowing hard as he watched her. "We're not going to shoot you Lucy."

"Why not! I can't keep doing it okay?" She let out a low growl and started to thrash around again, her hands pulling on her restraints so hard that both of the guys could see the marks on her wrists. "Please!" She cried out, turning her attention towards Sam. "Sam you understand what it's like, the absolute out of control feeling that's there underneath. The thoughts and whispers that are there all the time. C'mon, put me out of my misery already. I just don't think I can keep fighting it."

Sam looked at Dean, "It's not her."

"What?"

"It's not her!"

Lucy let out another low growl, arching up and out of the chair about as far as she could. Her eyes flashed this time as the air in the room turned cold. It was painfully obvious that Lucy had failed to fight whatever was inside of her, at least for the moment. As she settled back into the chair she began to laugh almost manically. "Aw Dean you look so heartbroken," She said with a grin. "She's _so_ not worth it."

"Shut up," He growled as he started to step into the circle. Sam stopped him though, shaking his head. "It's not worth it."

"Oh come on! You know you hate that your poor little Lucy is practically gone. Trust me, she's almost ready to just let go completely."

Sam stepped closer to the circle, "What'll happen if she lets go completely?"

"Well Sammy, we just won't need your assistance anymore. We'll have her and surprisingly, she's as strong as you."

"For the demon war or whatever the hell you all keep talking about?"

She grinned, nodding her head. "Uh huh. Lucy's pretty weak right now though, it's _so _easy to get her to go away. She's really nice to be inside of too. I mean, have you noticed how guys look at her? Oh of course you do!"

Dean's grip on the gun tightened and his jaw clenched but he didn't say anything. The demon inside Lucy laughed then as she looked up at Dean, "aw. You still care about her, don't you? Well can't blame you. She's pretty hot. I can't even begin to tell you the things I've gotten to do with her! So much fun. And seriously, once I get her broken down enough and she lets go...things are going to be quite different around here."

Dean nodded in Sam's direction and watched as Sam began to read in Latin from his own journal. Lucy frowned then, writhing in pain as Sam continued on. "What are you doing?" She screeched and thrashed around again, arching up out of the chair. "Quit it! You're just going to kill her!"

"Keep going Sam," He growled out. It was hard not to stop it all and untie her right then and there, especially as she screamed and cried as each sentence ended and the next began. They weren't just hurting the demon, they were hurting _her_.

But things changed and suddenly Sam was thrown back across the room, slamming against the far wall. Dean had enough time to look at Lucy and catch the yellow eyes looking back at him before he found himself flying across the room as well, landing hard on the floor. His head swam and he blinked a couple of times, only able to make out Lucy getting up from the chair and busting out the window. "Lucy, no!" He called out, scrambling to get to his feet. But he was too late; she was gone by the time he reached the broken window.

He said a few choice curse words before he turned back around and moved to help Sam, who looked a little woozy from his fall. "Are you alright? Let me look, okay?" He asked as Sam straightened up and started to pull away. Both of them chose to ignore Ruby as she wandered in, stepping over the broken glass at the floor near the window. "Oh don't tell me you let her get away," She said.

"Dean, I'm fine. I'm fine!" Sam scowled some but managed to take a step back from his brother, "did you see where she went?"

"She was gone by the time I got up." He let out a groan and rubbed his face, "shut up Ruby alright? It happened before we knew what was going on."

"So you didn't think to get me? Damn Dean, you sure are a smart one." She sighed, watching as Sam rubbed at his shoulder before she looked at Dean who was rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess we're back to square one now."


	6. Chapter 5

Present

Sometimes it was tempting to just end it all. Sometimes it was tempting to just let go and let whatever was going to happen just...happen. Even though there was still a big part of her that was still _her_ there was another part that just wanted to give up. She was tired of waking up and not knowing what had happened before. She was tired of the voices in her head, of them telling her what to do and of them telling her what would happen to the people she cared about. Lucy often dreamt of every bad scenario that could happen to Sam, Dean, Bobby and Missouri. She knew what was going to happen to Dean if his deal wasn't broken. She knew where he was going to go and what it was going to do to his brother. The worst part of it all was that she knew that his deal couldn't be broken.

Sitting outside of the old motel the boys were in, a big part of her was tempted to get out of the car and go up to the door. Mostly she was hoping they'd try to help her again. But one of the voices in the back of her head (not her own) was telling her that the Winchester's would just end it all. Part of her hoped to run into someone who would just kill her and get it over with. Lucy wasn't sure she could go on any longer; it was a pretty crappy existence after all. But Lucy didn't make a move. Instead she sat outside of their motel and then once the light inside the room turned off, she left.

* * *

Sam slept fitfully that night, dreams filled with death and darkness and other things he couldn't later explain. So he was pretty exhausted when he woke up but he wasn't too surprised to find that Dean was already awake, packed and ready to go. He gave Sam a glance before he looked back at the TV. It was another moment before he finally said anything, "Bobby got a call from another hunter. He said they were on her trail. She's gotten real sloppy in the last twelve or so hours."

"What? Another hunter is following her?" Sam let out a sigh and rubbed a hand over his face.

"Yeah. Bobby said this guy and two others have been trailing her for quite some time; she was just quicker all the times before. Bobby knew about these guys but wasn't sure if they were following Lucy or not. Apparently they weren't very forthcoming with details. Assholes." Dean pushed himself up from the bed and stalked towards the door. "I'm going to get some breakfast, want the usual?"

"But wait, what are we going to do about Lucy?"

"We're going to go after her and hope that we get there before they do. Bobby's on his way to hopefully head them off if we don't." He sighed, looking back at Sam, "Other than that I don't really know what to do."

Sam nodded, looking away from him after a moment. "You think it'll work? Finding her before they do?"

"I have no idea. I don't have a good feeling about it, that's for sure." He shrugged a shoulder. "Do you want the usual or not?"

He shook his head quickly his stomach rumbling a bit in protest. Even the thought of food right then was enough to make Sam want to climb back under the covers and stay there until the day was over. "No. I'm uh...I'm good."

Dean nodded and left, letting the door close behind him. Rubbing a hand over his face, Dean put one foot in front of the other as he headed down towards the restaurant located on the motel's property. He really didn't have a good feeling about any of this. If other hunters had already gotten wind of what Lucy had been doing then they were going to shoot first and forget to ask questions. They wouldn't even _try_ to help her. Dean knew that he could try to help her. It was tempting to go find the crossroads demon and make a deal for her too, just so he'd know that Lucy and his brother were safe. But he didn't. Knowing he was going to hell anyway was daunting enough. Plus he wasn't sure that a crossroads demon wouldn't just laugh in his face. He entered the small restaurant, glancing around out of habit. An older woman was standing behind the register as he approached, giving him a blank look that wasn't even in the least nice. He didn't bother with pleasantries and just ordered a bunch of food. Once he'd paid and gotten his food, Dean was heading back towards their room. This was just not how he'd envisioned his day going.

* * *

She could feel the air buzzing around her, knew that she was maybe inches from getting herself back. It'd taken a lot of clawing; a lot of fighting back whatever was inside of her and just when she thought she should just give up...Lucy could feel herself again. She was standing in the middle of a field, the tall grass brushing at the legs of her jeans. The wind moved around her, filled with electricity that she could feel in her fingertips and at the base of her spine. It was a strange feeling but one she wasn't all that afraid of anymore, not when she knew it was all her and not some demon. The demon was still there somewhere inside of her, biting and clawing to get back but so far Lucy was holding it at bay.

She looked around carefully, feeling the eyes on her. She didn't want to make any sudden movements but she also didn't want to stand still. Not with three people somewhere in the woods behind her just waiting to make a move. It was strange to feel them watching her and if she tried hard enough Lucy thought she could almost hear their thoughts. She bit her lip; half tempted to hold her hands up in surrender and hoped they wouldn't put a bullet between her eyes. But she knew they would. She spun around suddenly in the direction of the woods and just stood there, staring into the trees. The air around her buzzed louder but it wasn't really affecting her. Instead Lucy just watched.

Sam, Dean and Bobby had caught up to the other three hunters not too long after they had tracked Lucy down. They stayed far enough back as to not be detected but could step in if they had to. Dean wanted to go in there with guns drawn but Bobby and Sam had stopped him. They stayed off to the side some, watching as she stood in the middle of a field with grass so tall it nearly reached her waist. She was just standing there, as if completely unaware that six people were watching her and three of them wanted her dead on the spot. Sam kept whispering that he could hear some kind of buzzing sound but Dean and Bobby didn't hear it at first.

When she turned suddenly, Bobby and the Winchester's could do little more than watch as the wind picked up around her and started blowing straight back towards the woods where the other three hunters had hidden out. She was just staring as if she knew exactly what she was doing. Bobby and Dean suddenly could hear the buzzing Sam had been complaining about and covered their ears to try to drown it out. Sam didn't seem too affected by it, instead he just watched Lucy as she moved slowly towards the woods.

They all three saw the hunters before Lucy did. They came running from the woods at full speed with their weapons drawn. Lucy stopped and just stared them down, not making a move to run or to shield herself. One of the hunter's aimed his gun right at Lucy but didn't get a chance to fire it before he was thrown backwards, landing against a tree before slumping against the ground. Lucy hadn't even lifted a finger. The second and third guys managed to get shots off before they were thrown backwards as well, ending up on the ground near their colleague.

At first Dean didn't think the bullets had hit Lucy, not with the way she was just standing there. But then the wind and the buzzing stopped as she looked down at herself, moving one of her hands to touch her stomach. Even from where they were, all three of them could see the blood. Dean took off running at a full sprint, not hearing Bobby or Sam if they even tried to call out after him. Lucy looked up when she heard the footsteps, her eyes meeting his for a brief moment before she dropped to the ground.

Dean dropped onto the ground beside her and immediately pulled her into his lap. His heart felt like it'd stopped beating as he looked her over, brushing her hair out of her face and trying to see just how bad the wound was. Blood was _everywhere_, covering her and now him. But Dean wasn't paying attention to any of it as he looked her over. "Lucy? Oh god...oh god come on..." He was mumbling a bunch of nonsensical things, shaking her some in the hopes that it would get a reaction but there was just nothing. He jumped, startled when a hand landed on his shoulder and looked up to find Bobby and Sam behind him.

Bobby's fingers moved to her neck and stopped on her pulse point, waiting a few seconds before he frowned and glanced back at Sam. He finally whispered, "She's...there's no pulse..."

Dean shook his head as he held her tighter. This was almost just as bad as nearly losing Sam and they all knew where that had gotten him. It just wasn't fair. Not when he'd finally found her again and knew that he could've helped her. Could've saved her. He swallowed against the lump that had formed in his throat as he pulled back from Lucy, not looking at either Sam or Bobby as he moved to stand up. He shrugged off Sam when he tried to reach out towards him. "_No_. I'm done. I'm done with it all," He finally growled out. Was there really a point in fighting when everything just kept getting screwed up?

"Dean..."

"No Sam! I am _done_. They win and I don't really give a shit anymore." He scrubbed a hand over his face as he walked a few feet away.

Sam opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a groan from behind him. He turned to see Lucy, blinking up at them. "Dean! Get over here!" He finally called over his shoulder.

Bobby bent down next to her, shaking his head as he mumbled a bit under his breath. "I don't believe it. Hey Lucy, just hold on okay?"

She licked her lips, or tried to, but everything felt _so_ dry. Everything echoed around her as she tried to concentrate on breathing without it hurting so damn much. What happened was flashing through her mind at light speed and she just tried to concentrate on Bobby talking to her. She opened her mouth to say something and instead blacked out again, not even aware that black smoke was spilling from her body. All three men were pushed back a few feet from Lucy as the black smoke of the demon that'd been inside her filled the air around them and then disappeared in a flash. Once it was gone, they were back at her side. Sam just shook his head as they stood up, Dean carrying her carefully back through the tall grass towards the spot where they'd parked the cars. "I don't believe that it just left like that," He said as they walked.

Bobby sighed as he followed, "We need to hurry and get her to a hospital before she loses anymore blood. But I don't believe it either. Whatever she did to those other guys wasn't the work from that demon, I do know that."

Dean didn't even care at that moment as he tried not to jar her too much in his arms. It didn't matter if she was a demon herself or if she was one of the weird people with special powers or whatever. None of it mattered because he had her back. And he wasn't planning on letting her go this time. She woke up once while they loaded her into the back of the Impala, blinking sleepily up at Dean as he moved to check her wound. "Dean?" She whispered finally.

He gave her a smile and leaned forward enough to press a kiss against her forehead. "Don't worry. I got you," was all he said as he pulled back and climbed into the driver's seat.


	7. Chapter 6

She woke up without any sense of time or how much had passed. Everything felt a bit fuzzy around the edges and she had to blink a couple of times; both to focus her eyes in the stark white room and to clear her mind some but Lucy was aware that there was no one else inside her head...except for her. It was almost enough to make her laugh out loud but she didn't when the slightest movement caused her to feel some sort of dull pain. It was then that the memories came flooding back of the three hunters she'd faced off against, the field and how she'd gotten shot. She closed her eyes for a moment before taking in a slow, deep breath and when Lucy opened her eyes again, she was a little surprised to see Dean walking into the room. She'd thought that part of everything had been some sort of dream. He looked over and seemed a little confused to find her looking back at him. Grinning, despite looking completely exhausted, he walked over to the side of the bed. "About time you woke up," He said as he moved to pull up a chair next to the bed and sat down. "You feeling okay? Need anything?"

She opened her mouth but when she tried to speak nothing came out other than a croak. "Okay so talking's out for the moment. I'll get you some water after they check you out," He said. "You remember what happened?"

She nodded, wanting to say something about how she'd gotten shot in the stomach not that she'd lost her head. Dean sat back in his chair, glancing towards the door as if someone else was going to walk in at any moment. "You remember getting shot?" He finally asked.

Lucy cracked a smile but nodded again. She opened her mouth to say something else but couldn't even try to croak anything out because a nurse wandered in. She smiled brightly as she walked into the room, pulling out the chart that was near the end of the bed. "Well good to have you back with us Mrs. Ross. Your husband here was getting very worried." She shot them both a smile as she scribbled something on the chart, "I'm going to go get the on-call doctor to come check you out."

Lucy gave Dean a look, raising an eyebrow. She should've known they'd given fake names; it was just how they operated. But for some reason Lucy felt so out of the loop that it just seemed strange. He laughed a little as he shifted, grabbing his wallet from his pocket. "Yeah, yeah I know. But I don't think it would've worked so well if I gave them my name considering I'm technically dead and you're uh...still being looked for or something. So yeah we got married, aren't you thrilled?"

She laughed, groaning when the wound in her stomach pulled a bit. "Don't make me laugh," She finally managed to get out.

He looked a little worried for a minute, leaning over to make sure she was okay before Dean realized how close they were and jerked back just out of reach. Standing up, he gave her a small smile before motioning towards the door. "I'm going to go check on what's taking the doctor so long. And let Sam and Bobby know you're awake. You need anything?"

"No. No. I'm okay," She said as she looked down at her hands.

Dean hesitated for a moment inside the doorway before he nodded and disappeared out into the hallway. Once he was gone she let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd really been holding. It was strange to be so close to him and while they acted normal every few minutes, it seemed like they were back to being strangers when they realized how close and normal they were acting. It was also strange to be in one place and actually _feel_ normal and actually feel like she was herself. It was a nice feeling though, even Lucy could admit that. It made her want to sit there and just laugh at the whole situation, even though she knew it'd hurt like hell.

The doctor came in then, an older man with graying hair and a pair of wire glasses perched on his nose. He offered her a small smile as he walked to the end of the bed, grabbing the chart and flipping through it. "So Mrs. Ross, how are you feeling?"

A grin tugged at her mouth at the _name_ he called her just because it seemed fairly ridiculous, even though she knew it was for the best. She swallowed then, wanting to grumble something about how her throat was so damn dry but she didn't. Shrugging a shoulder, she glanced up at him before managing to whisper an, "I'm okay."

He nodded as he walked around the side of the bed, scribbling something in the chart before setting it down. "Alright, let me check out the wound and we'll see about getting you something to drink. Sound good?"

Honestly, it sounded like the best thing she'd heard since she woke up. She just nodded her head and closed her eyes, knowing that him poking around her gut was going to be uncomfortable at best.

* * *

"So she's okay?"

"Yes she's okay."

"She talked?"

"Yes Sam. She talked a little bit. Remember she had a tube shoved down her throat so she's a little hoarse." Dean let out a sigh as he rubbed a hand over his face; the past couple of days were definitely catching up. "Quit looking like some worried mother hen, she's _fine_."

Sam finally cracked a smile and nodded his head. "I know but...still. Just worried is all."

"I know." Dean glanced back in the direction of Lucy's room before looking up as he heard footsteps, not too surprised to see Bobby coming into the waiting area with two cups of coffee in his hands.

"She's awake?" Bobby asked as he took the seat next to Sam, handing one cup off to Dean.

"Yeah. The doctor's checking her out now. But she looks pretty good, for you know just having been shot."

Bobby cracked a smile, "Good. I always knew she was tough as nails."

"So when can we go in to see her?" Sam asked as he looked towards the direction of her room.

Dean finally sat down, although he couldn't stop his knee from moving up and down as he held the coffee cup in-between his hands. "Probably when the doctor's done looking her over."

He sighed as he leaned back in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. They'd been there for quite some time and Sam was pretty sure he was going numb from the waist down. But none of them wanted to leave, sure that if they did that something would happen. At least they could make sure nothing happened if they were there. Sam knew there was no way that Dean was going to leave and that meant him and Bobby weren't going anywhere either. He glanced over at Dean, watching as his brother stared into the cup of liquid. He looked worn and drawn, but also a little relieved. Sam couldn't help but feel the same way...at least they had found her in time.

* * *

Lucy was pretty exhausted for the rest of the day between nurses wandering in and out, the pain medication and the three men wandering in and out of her room at any given time she was just worn out. A big part of her didn't want to fall back asleep just because she wasn't sure what she was missing when she was out of it. But the smaller part of her knew she needed the rest; since this felt like the first time she'd actually _slept _and rested in a really long time. She hated hospitals though, wanted out of it more than anything but it was going to be hard to convince anyone to let her out when it hurt to move.

She'd closed her eyes for a moment, opening them and smiling when she saw Dean coming inside. He had a cup in his hand, sitting down in the empty chair next to her bed. "You should be getting some sleep," He said as he sat back.

"You should talk," Lucy said after a moment. Her throat still felt raw but at least she sounded somewhat more human. But what she said was true, Dean looked like hell.

He shrugged a shoulder as he took a drink, stretching his legs out in front of him. "I'm used to not getting much sleep, you know that."

"Yeah but still. Take this time to rest or something." She sighed as she let her eyes close again; it was just _so _hard to stay awake now. "Would you stay?" She asked after a moment, opening her eyes some to find him looking back at her.

"Of course. And Sam and Bobby are just outside too."

She nodded as her eyes closed again. "I'm just so tired," She mumbled.

Dean smiled, reaching over after a brief hesitation to brush her hair out of her face. "Well you just take this time to sleep. We'll all be here when you wake up."

"Okay," Lucy said mid-yawn as she relaxed back against the bed.

He pulled his hand back once it looked like she was asleep, keeping an eye on her as he settled back in his seat again. He _was_ exhausted, but knew there were bigger things to worry about than his own health. He couldn't help but selfishly hope that Lucy healed quickly so that they could get out of there and get back on the job as soon as possible. He was tempted to just drag her out of the hospital, willingly or not, and shove her in the back of the car. Time was ticking; they didn't have much time left to...do what? Get out of his deal? Sure it would be nice but as time ticked down Dean was starting to come to terms with the fact that he was going to hell and there wasn't a damn thing he or Sam or anyone else could do about it. Rubbing a hand over his face, he let out a sigh and glanced over at the sleeping woman in the bed. It was going to be _really_ hard to die.


	8. Chapter 7

Lucy was in the hospital for nearly a week before she was able to convince everyone (okay, mostly Dean) that she was well enough to be released and travel. Mostly she just wanted away from the white, sterile environment she'd been in. She didn't care where they went after that; whether it was a hotel or shack somewhere just as long as she could get out of a hospital. The Winchester's agreed but only if she would go back with Bobby to his house. And even though Lucy knew she needed to do that, so she could heal and get better for good, she didn't really want to be away from Dean or Sam. Bobby wasn't so bad though; he'd been enough of a father figure towards her for quite some time. She knew he'd look after her (and vice versa) but still.

"I just want to go with you guys," She grumbled as she struggled to get her shoes on. It was hard to stand for any period of time as it was, but bending down was pretty much impossible. She gave a sigh as Dean bent down in front of her to help her. "See? Who would help me get my shoes on?" She asked.

He gave her a crooked grin before he stood back up. "You know Bobby would help you get your shoes on Luce."

"Well...yeah but still!" Lucy sighed, feeling tired suddenly. She hated that standing for any period of time made her feel like she'd just ran a marathon. "I can help. You _know_ I can help Dean."

Deep down he knew that she could help; that the more people they had to help get rid of the demons that escaped through the devil's gates that had been opened the better but...she was _hurt_ and it would take awhile for her to heal. Dean wasn't about to put her in harm's way with her being injured like she was. He sighed inwardly; this wasn't supposed to be that damn complicated. "Lucy you can't right now. Alright?"

She seemed to deflate all at once, moving to sit back against the bed as they waited for Sam and Bobby to return. Her discharge papers were on the bed next to her, she was really only waiting on a wheelchair so she could get out of there. It was really frustrating to know she couldn't even walk to the damn bathroom without feeling completely worn out and she knew it'd be awhile before she wasn't _so_ tired all the time. But most frustrating of all was knowing that she _could _help, if only she wasn't hurt. "Fine," was her only response.

Dean stepped forward, closing the gap between the two of them before he thought better of it. Moving to sit down on the bed next to her, he was slow in his movements so as not to jar her too badly. "I know you can help and I know you want to. But get better first. That's when we'll need you the most." He shrugged a shoulder, looking down at his hands, "Truth be told I'm not too sure I can get out of this deal without screwing everything else up royally."

Lucy was having a hard time breathing, only because suddenly Dean was all up in her personal space. It was really hard to be around him, mostly because the urge to attach herself to him was pretty much consuming her. But she stopped herself from ever bringing their "relationship" up. Why make things more awkward than they already were? Plus, Lucy had been the one to walk out on him. "Can't Ruby help or something though?" Her own memories of her meeting with Ruby were blurry at best, but the guys had filled in some of the details.

"She told Sam she could but...she told me there was no way to get out of the deal besides destroying whoever holds the deal." He reached up, rubbing a hand over his face. "I'm not sure who or what that is right now."

She frowned, growing quiet as they both got lost in their thoughts. Faded, blurry memories of a demon filled her mind but it was all so disjointed that it made no sense. Maybe it was real, maybe it was something Lucy had just dreamt about. It was hard to tell really. "Well I have a feeling your brother is not going to let you go to Hell without a fight," She said with a slight smile. "And I'm not either."

Dean finally cracked a smile but nodded his head. "Sounds good. Because I don't really want to go either."

"Good. So when do you think we can blow this popsicle stand? I'm tired of looking at these same four walls."

He laughed then and moved to stand up. "Let me go see what's taking Sam so long," He said as he moved towards the door.

Once Dean had disappeared out of the doorway, Lucy let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in. It was probably for the best that she wasn't around Dean so much after she went to Bobby's. At least then she wouldn't have to pretend like everything was completely normal between them. It was hard to pretend, especially when he'd been right beside her practically touching her. She reached up, pushing a hand through her hair to get it out of her face. She still wanted to help though, but she guessed for the time being she'd be stuck helping from Bobby's house.

* * *

By the time Lucy was in the old room at Bobby's she thought she'd left behind for good, she was exhausted again and pretty sure that as soon as she closed her eyes she'd be out like a light. But she was trying to stay awake though, at least to see Sam and Dean leave. Sam carried the last of her things into her room, giving her a smile as he set it down. "So I think this is the last of your stuff," He said as he looked around the room.

She nodded, "Thanks Sam. Are you two heading out?"

"Yeah in a few minutes. Dean's making sure we've got everything before we leave." He gave her a small smile, "And I think he's wanting to make sure you're alright before we leave."

"Well it's not like you're _not_ coming back. He'd see me when you both come back here. Or when I'm finally able to move around without getting too tired." She sighed softly, settling back against the pillows on the bed.

Sam walked over to the window beside the bed, looking out over the yard where the Impala was parked. "You know, he won't admit it but it was pretty bad after you left."

"Sam..."

He held up a hand, "No, let me finish. He tried to pretend that it was alright that you left but I knew he was always looking for you, always keeping an eye out. Just in case. When we heard rumors about you and the whole demonic possession thing, he didn't believe it. But he was still looking around for you, researching ways to save you because he started to think that it _was_ all true. He was never worried about himself and this whole stupid deal."

Lucy was chewing on her bottom lip, staring down at the blankets. "Sam. I'm _sorry_," She whispered finally.

He gave her a small smile before he shook his head. "It's okay. I was mad at first, you know? But I got over it. Because I think if I were in your shoes I would've done the same thing. And I think Dean understands too."

She looked up at him after a moment. "I still feel like I should've stayed. I could've helped. I made things worse by leaving, especially when _it_ all happened."

"I think it still would've happened," He said as he turned away from the window. "It happened to me too, you know that."

"Yeah but it's not like you went around opening up Devil's Gates," She said before sighing. Guilt really sucked out a person's energy when they were already down for the count. "Will you call while you're gone?"

"Sure," Sam grinned down at her. "Don't worry so much."

"Easier said than done."

Dean appeared in the doorway, shifting from foot to foot and just looking generally uncomfortable. Sam seemed to get the hint though and gave her a smile before he left the room, brushing past his brother on the way downstairs. Suddenly Lucy wasn't sure what to do or where to look. Hell, she wasn't even sure what to say now that they were alone. Dean took a couple of steps forward before dropping down on the end of the bed. "So we're going to head out," He said after a moment of hesitation.

She nodded, looking down at her hands. "Yeah. You all have a long drive?"

"Nah, not anymore than normal."

"That's good." Lucy sighed inwardly, completely hating where the two of them had ended up. Stilted conversations and awkward silences were going to drive her completely crazy. "Will you...call? I mean, not like everyday or anything but just to let me know that you're both okay."

He smiled but nodded his head. "I think I can do that for you Lucy."

"Good." She reached up, pushing her hair back out of her face. "I'm...sorry Dean. For everything, really."

Dean held up a hand, grinning for a moment before it dropped off his face. "No chick flick moments Luce."

She laughed, nodding her head. "Fine," she said. "No chick flick moments."

He smiled brightly, secretly happy that he was able to make her laugh. He pushed himself up from the bed and leaned over, pressing a quick kiss against her forehead. "Take care of yourself, alright?"

Lucy closed her eyes, opening them only when she felt him pull away. "I will. Or try at least," She said with a smile.

He nodded, making his way back towards the doorway. "I'll call tomorrow," He said with a glance over his shoulder. "And Lucy?"

She looked up when he said her name. "What?"

"It's okay. Really."

She smiled and watched as he left the room. It only took a few more minutes before she heard the impala rumble to life and spit dirt and gravel as the two of them left. She could hear Bobby making his way around the downstairs but Lucy suddenly just felt _tired_. She closed her eyes, intending on sleeping as much as possible to pass the time. At least if she slept some time away, she'd get better more quickly. And if she got better quickly then she'd be back on the road in no time.


End file.
